Skeptical About Coaching

Thanks Shelley! I must say I was a bit skeptical about consulting a coach and worried it would not be helpful, but my husband and I both feel immensely positive and grateful to have found you 🙂 Everything you say feels authentic and like it’s taking us in the right direction.

I look forward to completing the tasks; the values process was illuminating.

Needs Vs Non-Negotiables

I learned SO much from the sessions:

Insight on “the Architecture of Relationships” and the importance of needing a solid foundation; “Needs versus Non-Negotiables” was extremely useful; as was your communication model. You are so willing to share your knowledge and information and are not protective over your “intellectual property”! I really appreciated that. You are professional yet warm and it is obvious that you have a vast amount of knowledge in the area of relationships. Wish I could have learnt more from you! Thank you!

Patterns in Behaviour

Exploring my life through a relationship lens helped me to view myself differently and as such, I was able to identify patterns in behaviour that previous therapy and coaching had not uncovered. My ability to assert my own needs without feeling selfish has increased and I am now also able to make requests for support without feeling weak. I have been communicating on a much more adult level in my close personal relationships and have been much more authentic as a result. The most significant shift has been in mindset, being able to forgive myself for the past and focus on the present and avoid behaviour patterns that are debilitating and sapping my energy.

Life Changing Experience

I still, (almost on a daily basis) recommend you to my friends and family. Although it is something new to many people, I do not hesitate to share this life changing experience!

Good Energy

I felt a good energy from you which is important to me, to get on with someone who you go to, be it coaching, massage, whatever. If I didn’t like you, I would not have felt comfortable talking to you and exposing my vulnerable side.

Never Too Old to Learn

Thanks so much for the wonderful lecture. I gained so much knowledge. One is never too old to learn! I gained insight in why I had so many failed relationships and how I can approach them differently. I learnt that if your foundation is not solid, your relationship may not survive. The presentation was excellent. It could possibly be spread over two sessions, as there is so much to absorb. Thanks so much.

BEYOND amazing actually

Work is AMAZING! BEYOND amazing actually! I wonder sometimes why I feared this so much! I am exceptionally busy!

I made almost double what my cost to company was at my previous employer in only 2 weeks of February. I feel relaxed in certain ways – for example I get to set my own hours, I can spend more time with my bird, and I can really spend time on stuff that matters. I, however, AM stressed in certain aspects, but it’s a GOOD stress 🙂

And if I have a quiet day with no one enquiring about anything, I don’t worry myself about it, because I KNOW that more work is just around the corner 🙂

Shelley, from the bottom of my heart, THANK YOU for helping me to see the potential inside of me. Thank you for helping me to push past my fears. I believe that without your help, I probably would have chickened out and not taken this massive step (to leave permanent employement and go on my own)! I am so much happier! So much more alive!

Thank you!

And I will definitely be calling you soon to set up a monthly time where we can just maybe do a maintenance type of thing 🙂

Reacts and Acts

I am more aware of how my boyfriend reacts and acts and I am able to explain myself more clearly to him now without getting over sensitive about what I am feeling or working through – more solution focused and less blame and finger pointing.

The SDI conflict discussion was also very informative as it is something that many people are afraid of and avoid talking about – anger is often seen as bad, I think, so people don’t always learn how to channel it when they are growing up and how to get the best out of a confrontational situation and come out better after it. It felt like you do this to be effective and because you enjoy it. You gave us material that we could use in future and that will help us remember the fundamentals – you taught us a life lesson that will always be valuable in everything we do throughout our lives. I have given your details to various people and to my manager. Thanks!

Life and Relationships

Thank you Shelley for all support in our sessions, I often think about things I learnt in our sessions regarding life and relationships and apply them in my interactions with people at work and socially. I enjoy living a conscious life where I think about things before doing them and feel a lot happier for doing so…. I would not be as happy and fulfilled at the moment if it weren’t for your sessions…Thank you

Lost in my single life

Before this I felt like I was lost in my single life. After a traumatic break-up the main question that I needed to establish an answer to was “Am I ready to move on and potentially start a new relationship?” I am now very much aware of aspects I need to build and work on in order to even attempt to form a sound and stable foundation for a potential relationship. I plan to do this through further individual classes as well as working on aspects/ components on building a solid foundation on ME before I get into a relationship.

Soul Searching

Unfortunately, I did not complete the sessions, but chatting to you has made me do some soul searching and I got to know myself a bit better! Your model has made me think about qualities I should work on and has made me realise that I never really thought about the qualities I would like my partner to possess.

Living with Blinkers On

I believe that MANY people, young and old, live their lives with blinkers on, not understanding how to manage their behaviour, or their partners’ behaviour, resulting in a build-up of “baggage” and unresolved issues. For me, I needed to be exposed to the possibility that the “Architecture of Relationship” provides a formulated framework to improve myself, for me to realise that I did not want to live my life with blinkers on. Without this exposure it may still have taken me many more years to realise this.

Knowledgeable and Well Read

You are a likeable professional who has passion for what you do and you sincerely want to make a difference in other people’s lives. You are knowledgeable and well read, which made the sessions interesting and resourceful.

Harsh Inner Critic

I found the sessions helpful, they really helped me to focus on what is and isn’t important to me in a partner. The sessions also made me realize that my inner critic is harsh when it comes to men and relationships and I have begun to take notice of the criticism and counter it. I like the combination of technical theory and good practical advice. You are thoroughly professional, reliable, organized and analytical. When I meet someone, I am now very aware of my non-negotiables and start assessing them against it pretty quickly.

In short, I thoroughly enjoyed the whole process!

Respect and Validation

Our discussions made me examine things about myself that I never realized before. I thought the way you showed me such respect and validation for what I had to say was wonderful! You were never judgmental, but loving and thoughtful. When one feels acknowledged like this, one feels like they are being understood. Isn’t that what everyone wants? You are an artist at that. You were more helpful and intuitive than any counselor/psychologist I’ve ever met with!

Also, the feedback you sent to me via e-mail following the sessions was excellent!!! So not only was it great going over everything again, but I have it in writing to refer back to again if I need to. This is perfect, because I have such a horrible memory!

I love your upbeat, positive outlook on everything! You gave me confidence that I’m already living a wonderful life; which I am!!! Please let me know if you ever write a book; I will be the first one in line to buy it. Thanks so much, Shelley, for the love and wisdom that seemed to pour out of you!

Stable Foundation

I enjoyed how you shared from your own personal experiences. This helped me to relate and connect. I found many things helpful, but to start with, I found of particular interest the importance of having the need for a stable foundation built on fertile ground. Now I can consider this going into my next relationship. A particular highlight for me was learning that a structure exists which one can work with going into a new relationship and with “eyes wide open”. Being aware and more objective, I will focus on the pillars of a successful relationship, instead of simply the chemistry and intuition. Thank you for this revelation.

Incapable of a Lasting Relationship

I started the Dating Deliberately process as I was frustrated that at the age of 35, I was still incapable of forming a lasting relationship with a man. I couldn’t get past the 2-month mark and took matters to Shelley and after yet another failed, short-lived relationship. Shelley was confident that she could help me and this was immediately encouraging, given my frustration and dwindling confidence. The Dating Deliberately process was so much fun and quite enlightening. My optimism was quickly restored and I realised where I was going wrong. This enabled me to make some important changes to the way I dated. Shelley is great to work with and is a true professional, yet warm and personable. She really puts a lot of effort into the entire process. I enjoyed receiving the post-session e-mails with tasks and informative articles. I later had an important decision to make about my career path and with Shelley’s guidance was able to make a decision after only one session. I am forever grateful. THANK YOU, Shelley!

Shattered Pieces

When I met Shelley, I was pretty much a person that consisted of a thousand little shattered pieces; well I was anything but whole. Shelley immediately made me feel comfortable and we started a journey together through which she guided me on my way to where I am today a completely wholehearted, thriving, joyful person, with the courage to take on anything that comes my way. Shelley is a truly gifted person with so much wisdom and insight. She has such an incredibly calm friendly, welcoming manner in which she works. She made me feel safe and her atmosphere was completely non-judgemental, allowing me to work with every little detail I needed to, without holding back due to the fear of being judged. She helped me piece everything together and guided me in turning my life around completely, on every level possible. I have learned a tremendous amount from her and grown to be the person I never thought I would be! Shelley is a beautiful person, whom one can trust with every aspect of your life! I will be forever thankful to Shelley, in guiding me on this journey to put my pieces together and become a completely whole person.

Inspiration, Guidance and Wisdom

I cannot thank you enough for the inspiration, guidance and wisdom that you are offering and sharing with me. The time that I spend with you is very special to me, and I want you to know what an enormous impact you have on my life while assisting me on my journey. I want to learn as much as I can from you.

Authentic Trust

You are clearly invested in what you do and in your clients, you are very professional in your approach. This instills trust in a process that as adults we feel at some level should have worked out naturally. You show up authentically, not as a specialist, but as yourself – refreshing and open-hearted. I enjoyed our time together and now I won’t waste time with someone who is unwilling or unable to speak the language of healthy, sustainable relationship.

Divorce to Mr Right

I arrived at Shelley with a divorce and a long-term failed relationship fresh in my mind. Self belief was very low. Shelley built me up, helped me understand the fundamentals of a successful relationship and made me into an architect of my own destiny.

I have learnt many invaluable tools to ensure I meet the “RIGHT” person for me, which will ensure a better chance of the relationship working.

I would recommend Shelley’s coaching to all single people looking to build a sustainable future relationship.

Life Changing

Your coaching has been so profound that you have fundamentally changed the way I think, the way I see myself, the way I see others and the way in which I evaluate my life and my purpose. You have made me realise what a powerful tool love can be and how love can change people and tear down boundaries. You have made me realise that a purposeful, fulfilled life is just a thought away. You have made consciously aware of whether my decisions and actions are life supporting or non life supporting. You have made me love myself. And because I love myself I can love everyone else even more!

Blessing in my life

Shelley you have been such a blessing in my life, and if you continue to do such great work, you will make the world a better place!! Last week I attended a research group for professionals relating to private banking. One of the questions on our registration form was, “Who inspires you the most?” and I wrote “Shelley Lewin – The Relationship Architect”. In response to the question “Why”, I wrote “Because she has taught me to live my life with purpose, balance and passion.”

Journey of Self Discovery

You have set me on my journey of self discovery, which is the most amazing gift anyone has ever given me. The journey so far along this path has already transformed me into a completely different being, and for this I cannot thank you enough.

Team Collaboration

When constructing your dream home and consulting an architect; you’d expect him/her to consider and understand all your wants, needs and requirements in order to collaborate as a team and deliver a spectacular property.

When visiting Shelley Lewin (The Relationship Architect)…expect just that!

Not only will you be welcomed by a radiant professional; you’ll be taken into her well constructed home, made to feel welcome and comfortable on a not-so-stereotypical couch with a warm cup of coffee.

Shelley prepared both of us beforehand in order to tackle all our concerns heads on from the word go.

Our proverbial dream home’s walls had gone mouldy and had a couple of roof leaks but the foundations were steady and secure; so within a week of intense sessions with Shelley, we managed to not only reconstruct but revamp into a luxury villa!

Our situation was tricky as we only had a couple of consecutive leave days, with very little time in between to reflect and regroup. We also needed to marry all coaching components; professional coaching, relationship coaching as well as individual life coaching without over complicating the situation, in fact – simplifying and creating clear boundaries between the different life shaping components.

Shelley gave us some of her own brilliant articles as well as further notes and books on related topics to study in between sessions.

Yet again, as a professional architect should do; our time spent was tailor-made by making use of individual sessions, couple sessions as well as healthy couples brainstorming sessions in order to maximize time spent.

Expect to be emotionally charged and exhausted after day 1 (luckily Shelley is a mere stone’s throw away from a couple of SA’s Top 10 restaurants!) but also to return on day 2 feeling much calmer and balanced already!

Two months have passed since our coaching sessions. In a high-end establishment with extremely demanding customers, MD’s and staff (as well as a wife, my husband would say!) our energy can easily be tapped.

This time around; with a healthy state of mind, balanced body and soul…the usual obstacles became challenges where the “competitor” in both of us was empowered to embrace and overcome each one of them optimistically!

In our business, our professional environment and performance is monitored on a daily basis. Since completing the coaching our customer feedback has soared, we won two international awards, our MD has commended our personal growth and our team has grown from strength to strength -by empowering junior team members and focussing on a strength-based leadership approach.

Our families have noticed the radical effect of coaching in our lives. Now, the two newly engaged couples as well as the married ones with 32 years under the belt are keen to invest in The Relationship Architect.

So if you can’t see the wood for the trees or simply feel stuck and need to be “unstuck” …call Shelley!