“My experience is that people are complicated, relationships are not. My role is to take the complicated out of relationships. I design the space between two people. I develop processes that generate, construct, restore and renovate connection. I co-create with my clients, a relationship road-map for their journeys in love and in a territory where there is usually none. This empowers them to become the architects of their own functional and fulfilling intimate partnerships.”
Welcome to the place and space for creating connection. My work as a couple counsellor shifted to relationship coaching when I completed ICF ACTP training and adopted a new language or way of working. Relationship Coaching is a progressive approach for singles and couples to become ‘unstuck’ when entering into or attempting to navigate successfully through the complexities of relationship.
The biggest difference between counselling and coaching is that the focus is not on problems and the past, but on the future and solutions. My role as a relationship coach is to be the voice of your relationship, to be a neutral and objective observer of the dynamics between you and your partner and to find bespoke solutions for your unique partnership.
Regardless of where you find yourself on the romantic relationship roadmap, there is a path to greater clarity through transformative coaching. Relationship development programmes will enable you to experience more connection and greater intimacy. You are in the right place if you are:
- Single and looking to identify your ideal compatible match; preparing for pairing and hoping to design a strategy to meet your life partner: Dating Deliberately
- In a long-term relationship with a desire to develop a solid foundation and increase the quality of your partnering; co-create a functional relationship: People Pairing
- Uncertain or ambivalent about your relationship, indecisive about its’ future and wondering whether to stay and invest more or move on: Crossroads Coaching
- Couples in conflict with a desire to renovate and restore their connection; hoping to acquire tools to overcome challenges together: Resilient Love
- In a relationship that has reached its expiration date; couples with a desire for amicable endings and separation with compassion, gratitude and grace: Conscious Uncoupling
When I coach couples, I hold a focus on our primary relationship, the one we have with our Self. This relationship is equally important and requires nurturing because the quality of the relationship we have with ourselves determines the quality of the relationship we have with others. This single piece of information has made the biggest difference to me and my own partnership. There is a saying in the helping professions, “you cannot take a client where you have never been yourself”. The idea being, the teacher requires first to Learn it and Live it, before he or she can Give it.
I wrote an article to explain this concept, you can click this link to learn more: ‘the best couple therapy is individual therapy’
1. Dating Deliberately – Preparing for Pairing (1-to-1 online only)
Dating Deliberately is a methodology for making the dating journey an empowering, positive and successful experience. It helps single people unable to meet a quality, compatible match to create a functional partnership with longevity. My 17 years of experience working with singles and couples gives you the opportunity to fast-track to ‘the important things to know’, practical tools and direction for greater confidence, certainty and clarity when screening and selecting potential candidates. Together we will craft a getting-out-there-strategy and identify as well as overcome, limiting mindsets keeping you stuck. We will get you relationship ready. This process can be delivered 1:1 or in groups of four or more.
Visit the website Dating Deliberately
Learn more in my article “Why am I still single?”
2. People Pairing – Preparing for Partnering (2-to-1 online or in-person)
People Pairing is a series of coaching sessions for conscious couples. Through this process you and your partner will co-create your guidelines for a functional, fulfilling and meaningful intimate relationship with longevity. It is most commonly attended by pre-marital couples preparing for partnering who understand the importance to plan for the marriage, not just the wedding. Your wedding day is one day of your life, your marriage is a lifetime. It is however not limited to pre-committed couples and is open to any pair wanting to become a ‘dream team’.
Learn more in my article ‘Before you say “I do”, be sure you say “We did”
3. Crossroads Coaching – Decision coaching to Stay or Go (2-to-1 online or in-person)
Ambivalent couples unsure of their future and exploring the possibility of staying together are taken through a process to help them discover whether to pursue their relationship or not. It answers the question, “Is it worth me investing more of myself, my time and my resources?” Ambivalence in a relationship may be experienced as co-existent feelings of loving and not loving your partner; wanting and not wanting the relationship; planning to leave and deciding to stay. Clients are encouraged to end the procrastination and analysis paralysis by exploring their compatibility and the areas of development required to move forward. It ensures they get off the fence and be in it OR out of it 100%.
Learn more in my article ‘The Myth of the Right Decision‘.
4. Resilient Love – Couple coaching to Restore Connection (2-to-1 online or in-person)
Couples in conflict/ unsatisfied couples who are feeling either disconnected from each other or too enmeshed, with a desire to renovate and restore their connection, this is for you. Once an attitude of commitment is made, even a badly damaged relationship can be restored. There are no problems that cannot be overcome with two willing partners.
To understand better my approach for couples in conflict: ‘When talking about your problems doesn’t help’
5. Conscious Uncoupling – Co-create an Amicable Exit Strategy (2-to-1 online or in-person)
Conscious Uncoupling is for unhappy and disconnected couples with a desire to part company in a way that honours their time of connection and shared learning. It closes the chapter of their relationship respectfully in order to move forward and begin afresh. This is a process for partnerships that are stifling or ‘keeping small’ the individuals living them. It is sometimes kinder and wiser to choose to end a relationship and allow the inhabitants to move on to a life that serves them, their growth and their long-term fulfilment.
Learn more in my article ‘Sometime divorce = love’
Over the years I have developed a variety of Masterclasses to support my clients on their journeys of growth.
In my book Uncomplicated Love, I share some theory worth knowing. The masterclass below, ‘People are Complicated, Relationships are Not’ is a ‘crash course’ in relationships and covers a portion in the book. This is available for you for free to watch here on my YouTube channel.