Is monogamy a realistic concept?
I was so pleased the subject of monogamy has come up. It is one of those things we take for granted and assume is a requirement or non-negotiable for everyone in a romantic partnership. Actually, it’s not.
Anthropology has shown that humans are ‘designed’ to have more than one partner in order to protect the longevity of the species. The drive to copulate and spread their seed is inherent in males. Even though that is not a concern for us in this day and age it is still in our ‘wiring’. It is however a realistic concept if we choose to have a monogamous relationship. The same way humans are ‘designed’ to eat meat and vegetables (omnivores) but there are millions who choose to become vegetarians and live very happily without meat for the rest of their lives. The vegetarians do not see their preferences as a sacrifice or compromise in any way. It is a lifestyle choice. I do not think many people see it that way- a matter of choice. It is assumed that monogamy is what we all want. And then we get distraught when we find our partners having affairs. Perhaps they did not consciously choose that for themselves. Choosing monogamy consciously is a little like choosing your religion. If one has been raised in a particular faith, it is assumed you will continue following the rituals and traditions of that belief system. If one has been raised in a culture that assumes a single partner for life is ‘normal’ and appropriate, then we all follow suit; regardless of whether it suits us. How many of us who are raised in one faith ‘choose’ whether we would like to continue with those ideas. How many say, “Oh, actually I would like to choose another faith that suits me better”. Religion is a choice. Lifestyles are a choice. Sexual preferences are a choice. And monogamy is a choice.
Each person can decide if that is what they want for themselves and then go about finding a partner who shares their values.