From Lonely to Loved
In a world filled with billions of people it’s always astonishing to learn of the many lonely people out there. We interact daily with hundreds of people as we busy ourselves at work and at play. So why then, do so few of us have a network of friends/or a community with whom we feel we belong? Sadly, the noise of our urgent frantic lives drowns out the importance of making time to connect to colleagues, acquaintances or even our partners.
The world is full of strangers until we make them our friends. It requires us making the effort to engage in conversation when we are greeted with “How are you?” The standard answer cuts all communication dead in its tracks, “Same old, same old”, ‘Well thanks”, “Fine thanks”, “Can’t complain”. A very polite way of saying I’m really not interested in having a conversation with you. It is this indifference that is killing modern relationships. Every day, if we look, we get the opportunity to deepen our connection with someone if we expose a piece of ourselves with them.
We are all capable of making people feel welcome and accepted, by taking an interest in them but we couldn’t be bothered. “Whatever!” is a simple expression that has become the creed of a whole generation. An attitude of ‘I don’t care’, ‘I couldn’t be bothered’ is the most destructive force at work in our modern lives. Where there is indifference, there is no passion. Indifference destroys all energy and enthusiasm for the great pursuits of life. Where there is indifference, there is no sense of purpose. Non purpose is the purpose of indifference. When we become indifferent to the passion and purpose of our lives, we begin to lead ‘quiet lives of desperation’. Relationships breeding indifference quickly become a place of misery. Hatred is not the great enemy of our relationships, it is indifference.
What is the cure for indifference? Love. Love is a choice, not a feeling. Love is something we do, not something that happens to us. It is a verb, not a noun. When you withhold your love, it’s a bit like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. Reaching out with respect and kindness to engage in a conversation with someone who asks how you are doing, is an act of love. Every interaction you have with people either brings you closer or pushes you further apart. Your relationships are either busy growing or dying.
If you want to increase your circle of friends or put some energy back into any relationship – give up indifference in your life. There is no good reason to be or feel lonely. Love and you will be loved back.